I'll start with the bad. I haven't been posting here because I am deeply and profoundly depressed about turning 40 tomorrow. I mean, I am seriously messed up over it. I feel like there is a black cloud just sitting over me. I can't concentrate, I'm not sleeping right, I cried all the way home yesterday. I know that with the surgery I have a new lease on life and I keep trying to tell myself this, but myself is not listening. I have a TON of regrets about waiting until so late in my life to start getting healthy that I feel that it's almost too late for me. This is probably compounded by the fact that my father died so young - at age 42. I hope I get out of this funk, because I am absolutely miserable.
Ok, we can move on to better news. I ran 5 miles on Thursday and 5.25 on Friday during my lunch hour. Both days were about 65-70 degrees and Friday there was a light drizzle. I have taken a turn in my running. Both days I felt relaxed and calm and getting those miles in was actually easy. Normally I have to push myself and convince myself to keep running, and then I feel good when it's over. Both days I felt great DURING the run. I've been running outside just over a year.
In another piece of good news, my flexibility is coming back. I did P90X Stretch yesterday and I'm close to being back where I was pre-surgery. And obviously, without the huge belly roll, I'm going to end up even more flexible on some of the moves. Right now the hardest stretches are the ones where I reach over my head because the skin is still trying to stretch out from where it was pulled together. It's uncomfortable, but it needs to be stretched anyway.
I'm really trying to get myself back on track, but I am not in a good space right now.
I am down another pound which puts me at a total of 220 pounds lost.