What a month it has been!!! Hard to believe I started off the month flying high! Holy crap - I ran the 1/2 marathon and the Run for Recovery and then went on a fantastic vacation. I was in a great place mentally and physically. This feels like forever ago.
Since then I've been CRASHING and BURNING. Yesterday marked a graduation celebration for clients in my program who have completed in the past six months. It was a great day as far as seeing the rewards of my work. But doing all the work to prepare for the ceremony and then having a full morning of meetings and then the graduation celebration and then back into meetings - it is always is exhausting. Both mentally and physically. And yesterday was no exception. I was SHOT.
Combine this stress with the hard time I have been having personally, and I was sitting here yesterday (having not gotten a lunch break but having served OTHER people eat pizza and cake) at about 2:45 with work piled up on my desk and was just SHAKING from anxiety and stress.
Anyway, so I just HAD to get out of work. I took off early and came home, grabbed the dogs and went on a 5 mile walk with them and Marc joined me. By the time I had gotten back I was calmer and felt more in control.
But did I mention the hits keep on coming? One of my cats - the newest one, Spock - has a SEVERE eye infection and Marc has been running him to the vets every other day trying to get it under control, but it's just not healing...
The scale is still way up and it breaks my heart every single day when I step on it. And even though yesterday's stress is over, I am at work climbing through the mountains of paperwork that I couldn't get to yesterday and making my way through the 20 messages saved on my voice mail. If I can conquer those today, I can head home into the weekend in a good space. I need to get them done, because if not, my weekend will be ruined thinking about what awaits me on Monday.
We have plans to go on a long and hopefully relaxing hike tomorrow. I am not where I want to be, not by a long shot. But I am starting to feel a glimmer of hope, like seeing the light at the end of a long tunnel. Hope is a good thing and it's a thing that has been missing lately. For sure, I will be thrilled to say goodbye to September.