So I know that this is stupid. But you saw my post yesterday about my "failure" in running over the weekend and how I feel like I've lost my mojo, so to speak. Yesterday, I woke up to fresh snow which had, in the city, turned into a thick layer of ice on the sidewalks.
So I was sure that I would not be able to do my normal noon-time run. For someone like me, who has become so regimented this caused significant anxiety. And a debate in my head about what I would do for exercise and if I would have to get on the treadmill when I got home.
About 11AM, the sun came out, but it was still really cold, so I didn't think the ice would melt. At noon I went out and checked and much to my surprise, the sidewalks appeared clear. So I got dressed and headed out, but with anxiety. I almost felt like the runner part of me was....broken? I feared that I would start running and wouldn't feel good - wouldn't want to continue.
I started running and about 1/2 mile in I realized, "Hey, this feels pretty good." By mile 3-4 I was totally in the groove! By mile 5 I thought I had wings attached to my heels. And when I circled back around to work, I didn't want the run to end. I felt WONDERFUL.
WHEW! I was totally relieved. Apparently you that commented are right - I just had a bad day. Sunday was just one bad run. It wasn't a sign or a disaster or any catastrophic.
And immediately afterwards I felt great. Like some darkness had lifted. It is just amazing to me how my emotions can turn on a dime. But trust me - I ain't gonna complain about feeling good!! I am working every day on self-acceptance and treating ME the way I treat other people.
Today I am thankful to live in an area where I can be confident that my person and property are safe and I don't have to look over my shoulder in fear.