Recently on the 3 Fat Chicks discussion board, a woman who I have a ton of respect for and who is an exercise MACHINE noted that she was taking a Pilates class and a very slender, willowy looking woman took her place next to her. This woman had the type of body that apparently most of us would kill for.
So this woman that I "know" from the site said that she was surprised to find during the class that even though she is "much" heavier then the willowy woman she was also quite a bit stronger and fitter from what she could tell. And this in turn caused her to ask herself this question - if she could only choose one, would she choose to be very thin with an "ideal" body, or would she choose to be strong and fit even if that meant being heavier and look much different then the "ideal".
And that made me question myself today. Not so much in terms of fit versus beautiful. To be honest that's a no-brainer for me. I would much rather have a strong and fit body then to be wimpy and "skinny-fat". It also helps that this would never be a choice for me. The ideal model-esque body is never going to happen for me no matter what. So I can put that thought right out of my head.
But I do sometimes wonder what my goal is. I'm fit and healthy. I have very low body fat as unreal as that is for me to "say". Which contributes to me being cold ALL THE TIME. And today I stood in Walmart and looked LONGINGLY at these cookie mixes. And I said "Fuck it! It's Christmas, my weight is down, I ran 10 miles on the treadmill this morning - I'm going to make some cookies!!" But I just. couldn't.
Because what? Because I would gain 10 pounds eating that? No. I know that. So the main reason was because the thought of eating a no-no filled me with panic. So I'm not avoiding in order to reach a goal - I'm avoiding for avoiding's sake. Which doesn't make sense. And takes some fun out of life, right?