Could this weather suck worse? Wow. I've been hanging in there pretty well but it's starting to get to me.
I had a return this morning of anxiety with a sense of impending doom. It doesn't help that my boss is acting like the end of the world is upon us and getting all hysterical and wound up about the weather. They are calling for a HUGE storm to nail us - since we are in the lake effect zone, they say we could get up to - get this - 5 fucking feet - of snow. BUT that probably won't happen where we are - it tends to hit a little south of here, so I'm not going to get overly dramatic about it - not yet at least!
So, as I was sitting here this morning with anxiety and trying to stave off a fall into depression, I had myself half convinced that I wasn't going to exercise at noon. I came thisclose to not exercising at all. I had brought in our P90X Plyometrics DVD. Which is HARD. Cardio hard and also hard on my legs since I abhor squatting and there is a ton of squatting with jumping.
So I went into the room I work out in and set up my portable DVD player early to not give myself a choice. And then at my lunch hour I went in to work out and just GLARED at the player. I started it and during the warm up phase I still considered quitting and - get this - I thought "No one will know but me if I quit! I could lie and tell people that I did the whole thing and they wouldn't know!"
What's with that shit? I mean who is MAKING me work out but me? So who the fuck am I lying to and why? Who am I accountable to for my exercise?
I am such a head case.
Anyway, it took longer then normal today for me to get the "high" that I get from exercising - but eventually I got there. And - as always - I felt great afterwards. The anxiety is almost gone - although the start of the depression is still looming.
I'll get through this, but the next few days aren't looking too promising. I hope everyone out there is staying warm and safe!
Oh, before I go today, if you need a new scale, Amazon has a FANTASTIC deal on one! It's like 75% off and is a top of the line scale!