I probably knew this in the back of my mind but it became clear to me about 7:30 PM last night why I've felt so edgy the last few days. I had to stop eating around that time because I was getting my blood drawn this morning.
And so I went into the lab at 8AM and the phlebotomist drew - no joke - at least 8 vials of blood. I was looking away because I am a big ole baby so I'm not exactly sure how many vials. They also had ordered a urine sample - which I did manage a smile as I peed in the cup considering how many times I watch OTHER people pee into cups in a week!
Anyway I had the blood drawn because I have a doctor's appointment in 2 weeks. I am really anxious about this appointment. I have been taking the Red Yeast Rice caps for just over 6 months. I am sooooo hoping that my cholesterol levels will have come down. Because I know that if they haven't, the doctor will be insisting that I start taking cholesterol lowering drugs. Which I am bound and determined that I won't take.
And then there's the ominous birthday coming up in less then a month. I'll be turning 42 which as I'm mentioned here many times is the age that my father died of a heart attack.
For all the vanity I have about how I look and why I want to be thin - it really should be more about my health, right? And, DAMN IT, I worked HARD to get where I am - not by a pill or an easy way out, but by hard work.
As I ran during lunch today, I envisioned little workman in my body doing their jobs of cleaning out my arteries and removing any and all build up. If that sounds familiar to you, you might have read the story "Stationary Bike" by Stephen King which was in his Just After Sunset book.
I feel good physically and clearly am in the best shape of my life. All things considered, I am reasonably confident that this will be a positive doctor's appointment. But life is so short, so precious, so fragile sometimes, that I can't help fearing this appointment.
It may be a long two weeks!