Wednesday, May 28, 2014

The easy way out...

I had a teacher in high school who was a pretty cool guy.  Like me, he spent his high school career in musicals, plays and other performance oriented pursuits.  I remember one day I had him for a study hall class and we were talking about the musical that we were currently doing.  He had been in the same one (Oklahoma!) when he was high school.  He told me that his dream had been to be on Broadway.

 I asked him why, then, he had became a teacher instead of heading to New York City to pursue his dream.

 "Because I like to know that I'm going to eat tomorrow..." he said matter-of-factly.

 I had that same dream and came to the same conclusion.  I asked myself if I was willing to work my ass off in crappy jobs, living in a cramped apartment, going to audition after audition hoping against all odds that my dream would come true.

 The answer was no.  So I took the easy, safer path.  A degree from a state college and then on to my Master's and then accepting and working my way up in jobs that I loved, but weren't exactly my dream.

 And I've been content. Having a home and a wonderful partner and lots of hobbies and the financial freedom to live pretty well - that's a helluva lot more then some people get!  In fact, like my weight, I know that some people would kill for what I have.

 But now - having made 1 revolutionary life change - I find myself seriously considering another.  How do you decide, though?  Staying right where I am is safe, and I'm happy. But there is another life that calls to me.  It would mean a major risk.  What if I fail?  What if, like many people have, I make this life altering decision and follow my heart only to find that what I thought was my dream turns out to be a nightmare and I totally regret giving up the life I had?

There is no going back.  If I ring this bell it can't be un-rung.  
 And the other side of the coin is what if I make this life-altering decision and it is everything I always dreamed of and I'm wildly happy beyond what I thought was possible?

So how do I decide?  Taking a huge risk goes completely against my nature.

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