Who the heck was that person in 2011? You know, the one who was incredibly patient with herself. The one that understood that weight loss is not linear and doesn’t always make sense. The one that was okay when the scale didn’t respond immediately to “good behavior”.
Because she is totally MIA right now!
I am holding steady at 125. And while I’m trying to remain confident that being on plan eating and exercising wise will result in a drop there’s a part of me that just wants to say FUCK IT.
My co-worker was in my office telling me a story today and as part of the story she was talking about how they “always go for ice cream together.” I swear, I missed about the next 5 minutes of her story because in my head I was like “ICE CREAM? Why do you get to fucking eat ice cream? How come you don’t get fat? How come I even THINK about ice cream and gain 3 pounds? NO FAIR NO FAIR NO FAIR!”
I’m such a pathetic loser.
I am doing really well this week. Each night I have looked longingly at my peanut butter jars and sighed as I closed the cabinet door without even a taste. I am working out, but also listening to my body.
I really want to get back down at least 5 pounds and sacrifice is what it will take. And having faith.