Last night as Marc and I were finishing dinner I turned on my tablet and read the horrifying news about Robin Williams' suicide. Having had a bad day already, tears immediately started to flow.
Reading the story, I realized that as I sat in the Urgent Care waiting room in significant physical pain, here was this wonderful, talented man who - on the opposite coast - was in so much emotional pain that he was in some stage of killing himself.
How tragic and senseless!
I couldn't imagine. Except I remember as a teenager there was a time when I thought about suicide – thought about it a lot actually. I had a pretty good life! And I wasn't what you might think of as the "typical" fat girl in high school. Yes, I was made fun of at times, but I was actually pretty popular. I had lead roles in plays, was in chorus and band and several other clubs and had lots of friends. But I also hated myself and felt life was meaningless and futile.
Fortunately I never made the irreversible choice to end it.
We'll never know why Robin Williams felt that this was his only option. And my heart aches for his family that also will never have the answers.
Nanu nanu, Robin - I bet you had no idea how truly loved you were by people all over the world. I wish with all my heart that you had found another way to escape your demons.
P.S. In what has started out as a very bleak week for me, I did have a bright spot as I got to talk to my grandmother today and wished her a very HAPPY 88TH BIRTHDAY!