Sunday, January 18, 2015

A return to calm…

I know that some of you will find this totally pathetic, but I have never lived on my own.  The closest I’ve ever come was when my roommate my freshman year of college had a bit of a meltdown and left.  But living in a college dorm hardly qualifies as solo living.

Marc’s father has had a rough time coming out of anesthesia.  He was altered mentally and couldn’t be left alone.  So Marc spent the entire day and night there yesterday.

I hated it.  Marc and I do everything together.  So spending the day alone yesterday?  I was lonely and agitated.  Not to mention worried as hell.  And – selfishly – I was mad.  And felt guilty for my anger.  It was not a good day. 

Today dawned and Marc’s sister arrived to take her “shift” and Marc came home with the good news that Dad was almost back to normal mentally – what a relief. 

And guess what?  I ran 13.1 miles on the treadmill today with almost no pain!  It’s the longest run I’ve done in what feels like FOREVER.  Treadmill running still sucks, but I did it.  In only a little bit of pain.

This is not the start to the year I had envisioned.  I thought I would get right back on track.  I haven’t.  And there are excuses for this, but it all comes down to choices, and I’m just not there yet.

But a good day?  I’ll take it.  And keep my fingers crossed that one good day leads to another….


No comments:

Post a Comment