I think I’ve told you guys before that I work with a lot of really young, very fit men.
It’s pretty cool in some ways because no one else that I work with is into working out as much as I am. And that is especially true about lifting weights. But these guys are all into that, so at times I’m able to have enough time in the day to take a few minutes and chat with them about our common interests.
In some ways, though, working with these guys SUCKS. Because these young little fuckers – well, they eat like there’s no tomorrow. Protein shakes and loads and loads of food – mostly healthy but not always – they can get away with that being men in their 20’s. Obviously I’m totally jealous.
So yesterday we’re talking about running and lifting and this one young guy is talking about running and doing 6 minute miles. And he has a video he wants to show me of him back squatting 325 pounds.
And I start to get anxious. And I instantly start mentally comparing myself to him and thinking about what a LOSER I am running 8 minute miles. And how I can’t lift anywhere near what he is lifting.
Seriously?? I am a 42 year old woman who was morbidly obese most of her life. Forget that morbidly obese part – I am a 42 year old woman who is – (insert serious crying here) – starting to show early signs of menopause.
And I’m comparing myself to a 24ish year old man? But I do it all the time. I do the P90X and other workout videos and lament that my abs don’t look like the women in the videos. Or the guy in the back is using 15 pound weights and I am struggling using 10.
It’s foolish, right? I’m not a professional athlete. I’m not someone who gets PAID to stay in shape. I don’t have hours and hours to work out and I don’t have a personal trainer.
So I did a reality check on myself. And when I get undressed tonight to go to bed and I look in the mirror – as I do every night while desperately trying to see shrinking stomach fat and the emergence of abs – - I’ll remember the reality of who I am. And hopefully I’ll appreciate her….because the reality is – I’m not so bad…