I almost feel like I’ve been zombie-fied these last several weeks. The trudging into work in the freezing cold. Being cold to my BONES constantly.
The drag of an unrelenting routine and running mile and after mile in the basement. The lack of sun. No wonder I’ve been miserable.
Then getting sick and being in agonizing pain. I started to wonder what I had done karma wise!
And then today dawned. For the first time in days I didn’t have intense pain in my abdomen. I wasn’t back to normal, mind you, but I felt so much better!
And then I saw the best therapist one could possible ask for:
Yes, the sun actually made an appearance! And the temps were ABOVE FREEZING! I could have cried.
I walked at lunch. And came home, changed my clothes and RAN OUTSIDE. It was my first run outside in over 3 months! And it was UGLY. How something can feel HORRIBLE and MAGNIFICENT at the same time? I know some of you must get it!
Back home I actually wanted something healthy to eat. I wasn’t craving sweets and processed food. There is NO WAY that what I want to eat isn’t dictated by my mood.
Having been inspired by Panera Bread’s broth bowls, we made our own – with the Soba noodles, broccoli and ground turkey in a spiced Asian broth.
SO. FREAKING. GOOD!
And not something that afterwards I feel guilty for having eaten!!
I can feel peace and happiness returning.
Here’s the rub my friends – and something I ruminated about as I walked today. I seriously – seriously – don’t think I can take another winter like this. How many more years can I spend at least 1/3 of my life completely miserable living here?
And yet? How do I give up what I have for a scary and uncertain path?