Mondays suck. They just really suck.
But this Monday was set up to be a good one. This weekend was great for exercise. I ran, biked and walked. I even got some of the house cleaned.
Exercising well on the weekends is not new for me. But here’s what is - after running over 14 miles and walking an additional 9 I wasn’t in significant pain. The foot - despite my refusal to rest it - is getting better. It’s not completely fixed, but it’s much better. And here’s what’s even better - this weekend was the first weekend in far too long that I wasn’t sitting there on Sunday night regretting most of my food choices and vowing to do better this week.
I certainly wasn’t perfect this weekend - with either the amount I ate or the foods that I chose - but I didn’t stuff myself silly which has become an all too routine pattern. I ate good foods in reasonable portions for the most part.
The weather was pretty crappy all weekend, but after another cold and cloudy day, the forecast is wonderful straight through next weekend - including a hot and sunny Saturday for our first duathlon.
But then last night, as I watched coverage of the horrific shootings in Orlando, I started to get really depressed. A NORMAL person should feel pretty upset about a fucking madman shooting up people for no fucking reason. But I got really depressed not just about the murders but about all the stupid bastards on Facebook and Twitter. It is hard right now not to take a dim view of humanity in general... I probably shouldn’t watch the news - ever...
So after a fitful night’s sleep, I got up and stepped on the scale to see that I apparently ate 20,000 calories yesterday, as my weight is up 5 pounds since yesterday’s weigh in. Really? I’ve been at this long enough to know this isn’t a “real” gain and there are lots on reasons for the scale to spike, but in my current mood, it was a true slap in the face and so incredibly discouraging. And then, of course, I was then mad at myself for freaking out over a couple pounds when so many lives have been turned upside down.
Getting to work, it was busy, which made the time fly, but I felt so worn out - even the smallest thing seemed so daunting and I felt like I was moving through molasses. As lunch approached I looked out to the cold, cloudy and just dreary conditions, and the thought of running made me want to curl up in a ball - I usually can fight this lack of motivation, but not today.
So I stayed inside and began lifting weights, hoping that the endorphins would kick in. I even had “Hair Band Radio” cranking but still felt like shit mentally. Let me tell you my fine peeps, if Warrant, Bon Jovi and Ratt can’t get me out of funk, nothing can!!!
I have some pretty strong opinions and thoughts in the wake of the Orlando killings, but I have tried to stay away from blog posts about issues like this.
But I will say that my thoughts are with the families and friends of the victims and certainly with the survivors. And one more note that I think many people need to be reminded of: