Friday, September 2, 2016

Facing fears...

There is only so much energy in our bodies.  We have to decide how we use that energy.  Much like the hours in each day.  

I think about the energy I have wasted on fear and anxiety.  Fear of SOOOO many things.  Of what mistakes I've made in my past.  Of what might happen.  Of whether the choices I've made are right or wrong.  Anxiety over my weight.  Of each food choice I make.

There's a fine line between being smart and being hyper-vigilant to the point of absurdity.  Add in some life stress and my energy gets completely scattered!

I was trying to explain to my friend why I haven't been running outside.  How do you rationally explain something completely irrational?  She couldn't get where my fear was coming from.  I can't understand it myself so how could she?

I told myself today that it was time.  No excuses.  Just get out and run.

As the day went on the anxiety was almost palpable.  W.T.F.?  

Then I was home, dinner was simmering on the stove.  Archer stared intently at me.  

I started running. Something I've done HUNDREDS of times.  

And guess what?  We ran a simple, slow 10k.  It wasn't AWESOME.  It wasn't HORRIBLE.  It was just a run.

All that wasted energy worrying, fretting for NOTHING.  

The mental game, at least for me, is so much more challenging than anything physical I have evet attempted.  

There are many ways I can view the run I took this evening.  I think I'll choose to view it as a victory.  A mental victory.  And a challenge to myself in the future that I need to stop letting fear and anxiety steal so much of my precious energy.

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