Over the weekend Marc and I stopped into Walmart for some groceries. We went over to the aisles that had their Xmas clearance. We were browsing through the items and there was one full aisle full of Xmas goodies on clearance - 50% off!
M n M’s, Hershey’s Kisses, Chocolate Covered Pretzels, Ghirardelli’s Chocolates, Reese’s Peanut Butter cups - they actually sell a 2 pack of ½ POUND EACH of these - and YES, I could EASILY eat one right down.
It’s part of my sickness that had these items been there just regularly for sale, they would present very little temptation for me. But because they were on CLEARANCE and represent such a “good deal” I really, really wanted to buy some and, of course, eat them.
I managed to avoid buying anything - after looking at multiple packages and nutrition labels - apparently I thought that if I looked at enough packages, one would eventually read
SERVING SIZE: 4 OZ
CALORIES PER SERVING: 20
Alas, I did not find that package and reluctantly headed up to the check-out area completely devoid of chocolate.
I swear that as I left the aisle, I half expected – or thought there SHOULD be – multiple people lined up on either side to thunderously applaud me for my self-control as I walked between them. Why I expect that I should be given special kudos for NOT being a pig, I don’t know.
Sometimes I want to scream “Do you have any idea how FUCKING HARD this is for me?!?! Do you know what’s it’s like to have to constantly monitor every goddamn piece of food I eat? Do you know how hard I work and I’m still FAILING??”
Yes, I know, applause or a resounding pity party is what I’m looking for!!