Monday, January 2, 2017

Promises, promises...

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has been rationalizing and justifying my dive into plate after plate of food while promising myself that come the NEW YEAR - you know the magical date that we all look to - I'll get my shit together.

And now - whatdayaknow - the magical date has arrived.  Instead of approaching it with enthusiasm and energy, I feel almost sad.  Because it's time to do it instead of just thinking about it!

A couple months ago my friend and I were talking about someone we know who has battled a horrific heroin addiction for years.  And he's had periods of real, true and productive sobriety.  But he had another relapse and just seems ambivilent about attempting to get back on track - to get sober again.

I told my friend how I totally get it.  I said that I, too, have had success only to blow it.  I know what it takes to get back on track.  I know how to do it and what it takes to get it done.  But looking down that road is just exhausting.  

I envy the naievete I had going into this in 2010, when I could just take it day by day with no pre-conceptions or expectations '- when I truly could just live one day at a time.

I need to keep it simple.  But simple ain't in my nature.

But let's look at success for today.  I exercised and part of that was taking Sisko for his first walk ever.  He dug in his heels at first - wondering why his Mommy was yanking him around by his neck.  But then? He got it.  He is so freaking cute and him trotting next to Archer and I was awesome! 

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